From SebastianR: Completing The Snowlords Challenge (136 Points)

I clambered down the Snowlord’s peak until I found an outcropping large and wide enough to support the phlebotimiser. I set up its tripod and mounted it, plugging in the ancillary widgets and booting up the compression engine.

Soon the air was humming with latent energy. The cold air that whipped around the mountaintop was warmed by unnerving currents and the occasional flurry of snowflakes became a roiling, pulsing blizzard. Arcs of energy violet suddenly began to rend the air surrounding the phlebotimiser, earthing themselves in the exposed rock, or vaporising snowdrifts. Hypercharged particle of whimsy slammed into each other releasing bursts of flim-flam. Ultimately, I knew I had very little control over the phlebotomiser in this state, but it didn’t stop me from throwing wide my arms and shouting, “Bring me a hero; a character of great depth and human interest!”

The unnecessary amount of scene setting began to approach 100 mili-Rowlings when, with a hum, the phlebotimiser stabilised and I knew that what I needed was about to step through.

My initial excitement quickly turned to puzzlement as the phlemotomiser disgorged a bizarre assortment of individuals. “Oh,” I muttered, “the Snowlord is not going to like this.”

***

The Snowlord lifted his head from his prize snowdrops as the laboured hum of overworked engines reached him on the wind. Steadily it grew stronger until a column of vehicles dragged itself, agonisingly slowly, up the final bend on the path to the peak.

Seeing who approached - dismounting from the lead vehicle - he crossed his arms skeptically and said, “I asked for a character, not a squadron of tanks and transports.”

The challenger looked sheepish, “Well… there were complications, but I did indeed fulfill your challenge."

“This is Sam. They’re an Afghan Cap.”

“A what.”

“An AFGNCAAP. An Ageless, Faceless, Gender-Neutral, Culturally Ambiguous Adventure Person. I think they’re an escapee from a defunct sci-fi third person shooter that they used to be the Player Character in. It doesn’t get more characterful than that.”

“But if they’re game was never made, they don’t have a backstory!”

“Ah, but we’ve gone meta you see. Because they’re a tabula rasa escaped from an EA game or whatever, their drive and further adventures all involve self-discovery and the formation of their own character. And probably melting corporate lawyers with a plasma pistol.”

“Now that’s a game I might play. So what’s with all the dated armoured vehicles?”

“Not sure. Sometime the phlebotimiser just likes to throw random stuff my way. But they were kind enough to give us a lift. My French isn’t great, but they said something about being left on the shelf for two years?”

“Well, you seem to have completed your challenge, now time for…”

“There is one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“This guy.”

“Is that a bana…”

“Yes.”

“Why is there a bana…”

“I don’t know.”

The banana watched us impassively.

“Does it... have a name?”

“I don’t know. It can’t speak. It’s a banana.”

“Does it have a story?”

“Again, it... it can’t talk, it’s a banana.”

“I’m going to pretend this didn’t happen.”

“That seems fair.”

“Now come, claim your reward.”

I turned my back for the last time on the bizarre, ever changing view of Challenge Island that the peak afforded. Somehow, I knew that I would be back, if not here, then somewhere very much like it.

***

It had been a dramatic final sprint for the finish line. I’ve decided to include everything I’ve been painting, as the initial item, plus those I chose as backups, arrived in reverse order.

The French armour was left over from the challenge 2 years ago, and I negotiated with Curt to use it as a backup when my preferred beer based 3D printer person went dark. Most of the way into painting them, my backup beer based 3D printer person delivered the generic space adventurer and the banana knight (do doo do do do) and most of the way into painting them my original 3D printer person came through for me, but too late to be ready for the final deadline.

The Banana Knight (do do do do) really is indicative of the amount of restraint both showed when I gave them my brief, as beyond “a character” “not too complicated” “and preferably 28mm” I didn’t really give them much guidance. Not only were they very up for it, but they avoided the depraved excesses of the Thingyverses darker corners. The phrases “so many tits” and “Dickosaurus Rex” were bandied about.

In all honesty, I’m very happy with the way the generic space adventurer came out. The prints were quite rough (due to the quality of the printer being used) and I didn’t initially think that I would have enough skill or patience to salvage the figure.

I don’t know what to think about the French. I hate painting their three colour camo. It takes ages and somehow I don’t think I really capture the… je ne sais quoi of the actual design. Still, good enough for army work. For technical reasons (I lost my decal sheet) I will be decaling the figures and flocking the bases at a later date.

Meanwhile in international events:

With everything else I do – dance, fencing, general nerdery – being cancelled, it looks like I will be continuing my painting challenge for a bonus round. The expectation is that work will be sending us home any time soon (we’ll still have to work from home, booo!) so that’s another 40mins of commuting time a day saved. I’m planning to call it the COVID cup or something similar. I’m going to clear the rest of my paint queue and really get stuck into the led pile. I’ll start posting the progress on the blog again so please feel free to drop by.

Also I hope everyone is staying safe, and if they’re not in a risk group, looking out for those around them. It’s a real privilege to get to paint alongside you all, and I hope that I will see you all again in the years to come.

Sebastian

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Haha! This is nothing what I ordered, but exactly what I wanted, if that makes any sense at all. Brilliant stuff, Sebastian. While 'so many tits' and Dickosaurus Rex' seem all very compelling (I will search for those on Thingiverse after I finish this), I have to say that 'Afghan Cap' and 'The Banana Knight' (do do do do) were the perfect choices to run with here. I also very much like your French armour which I think is not just comme ci, comme ça but magnifique, especially those whacky long-nosed tractor thingys. Very cool.

For your efforts, I present to you Simon's bespoke golden Dalek (with just a tantalising hint of Nuln Oil)

Sebastian, it was a delight having you with us again this year. Take care and be sure to be back for the next edition of the Challenge.

-Curt