From TamsinP: Ballooning Hairy Bikers (25 points)

Extract from the journal of TamsinP, Time Traveler, Society Girl and Adventuress

24 January, 2021

I wake up on the hard floor of the Awdry's Atoll cantina, my brain fuzzy and my mouth feeling like the bottom of a birdcage. How much did I have to drink last night? A quick look at the table reveals the awful truth - six empty rum bottles, two of vodka, three of tequila...no wonder I feel awful. 

My stomach growls and I realise that I need a good hearty breakfast to sort out my hangover.  Glancing around the cantina, I realise that I am the only one (sort of) awake and that I'll probably have to wait a long time to get any food here. A thought strikes me - Si and Dave are jolly nice chaps and great cooks*, I'm sure they'll sort me out. If I remember right they were filming a series in America in 2012 - that should be good for a breakfast.

Taking out my time-travel device I enter the details of where I want it to take me - Hairy Bikers, USA, 2012. The warp opens and I step through, transported to my destination, finding myself in a desert. I look to see how I look - the device is rather splendid and alters my appearance to suit my new location - purple bikini top, Daisy Dukes, red leather knee boots, a Glock...hmmm, I think something must be wrong. 

I catch a scent of woodsmoke on the breeze and decide to head in that direction. Reaching the top of a low ridge I spot a campsite just ahead, with four motorbikes and four men sat around their fire. I decide to approach them and find out where (and when?) I am. And where Si and Dave might be.

"Excuse me chaps, have you by any chance seen two bikers from the North of England with a film crew around these parts? Oh, and where exactly are we? And when?"

The chap with a bushy black beard stands up and replies "Well, missy, it's 2021, you're in Arizona and we haven't seen a film crew since we was in Memphis."

2021? I realise now that in my hangover-befuddled state I must have miskeyed the location details into my device. And not capitalised "Hairy Bikers". Still, these chaps seem quite friendly and I see that they are just getting ready to cook breakfast. I ask if they could, perhaps, cook for one extra and they readily agree, welcoming me to chow down with them.

I introduce myself and explain my predicament; they reciprocate and I find out that the chap with the bushy black beard is Papa John (his name is John and he likes pizza); the one in the helmet is Wild Bill; the blonde guy is Huge Henry; and the fourth is simply called "Otter".

I observe that they have lots of guns; also they are all sleeveless, which I suggest to Papa John might be putting them at risk of skin cancer given the hot desert sun.

"Well, missy, you see we believe in the right to bare arms..."

"And all those weapons?"

 "...and the right to arm bears."

"Arm bears?"

"The dragons are coming for me again!" screams Wild Bill.

"Don't mind him, missy - he's still tripping. We all took some LSD last night, and he took a lot more than the rest of us. But everything' groovy!" chips in Huge Henry.

"Arm bears?" I ask again, "I know there's a joke about that and the 2nd Amendment, but you seem quite serious."

"Oh, yes" answers Papa John "but not the critters. You see, apart from young Otter, we're all big, hairy gay men - bears. Otter isn't as big or hairy as us, so he's an otter, which is why we call him that."

The penny drops. "So, you're all gay bikers on acid**?"

"It's the Mechastreisand! Help! Whimper..."

I eat a delicious breakfast and bid my new gay friends farewell. As a redhead, my fair skin will burn far too quickly under the desert sun, so I decide to call Lady Sarah's Hot air Balloon Service for another ride to a new location. O'Grady's Gulch has a certain appeal...



* For non-Brits, Si King and Dave Myers are The Hairy Bikers, a pair of "celebrity chefs" who have filmed several series for British TV.
** Yes, I do know that's not how the band's name is spelt.

"Missy Me"

Papa John

Wild Bill

Huge Henry

Otter

These 28mm figures are all by Copplestone Castings. I think the NMM came out OK on these, but I definitely need some more practice. And looking at the pics while I was resizing them, of course I found a few bits that need to be touched up at some point. This submission also saw me making good use of my new wet palette from Army Painter - I think I'm getting the hang of it now.


For scoring:
5 x 28mm foot @ 5 = 25 points


Lady Sarah - may I hop aboard and beg a flight to O'Grady's Gulch please? No bubbles for me today though as I'm on cabin duty.

I'll leave you with this:

Toodles!

_____________________________________

Haha! Mechastreisand. Very good, Tamsin. A rival gang could be the '2-Stroke Manilows'. :)

Very nice clean, work on these Copplestones, Ms P. I think your non-metalic effect works the treat and the skin tones are excellent, especially the tan on Wild Bill and the sun-kissed skin of fair Missy. 

'Macho, macho man...'

Enjoy your flight to O'Grady's Gulch!

-Curt