From NoelW: Snowlord’s Treasury: (32 points)

They run and they run. They run heroically back through the Hall of Heroes. They run beastily back through the Lair of the Beast. They run all the way to the Snowlord’s Treasury where, surprise, surprise, they find – wouldn’t you know it? – Treasure.

“Is this the treasure that launched a thousand ships?” quips Titchy.

“Never mind that. Find something to beat off angry animated bags of bones.”

“How about this?” says Elfbow. “Looks awfully familiar to me.”

He points to a golden statue. A statue, it would seem, of Merlissa.

Getrude laughs.

“Her spell must’ve backfired. Instead of turning gold to air, she’s turned her to gold.”

“I didn’t know magic could pun.”

“It can in this story, or haven’t you been paying attention?”

“What about the Spear of Density?”

“It surely won’t have turned itself into something, would it?”

“It’s there. On the floor.”

“I’d better just check it still works,” says Elfbow, pointing it at the statue of Merlissa. “She’s as two faced as a pair of lizards. So, let’s see…”

With a tap of the spear, the statue instantly dissolves into:

“There must be something else magical amongst all this golden rubbish. Something really powerful that will incinerate bones in a blast of celestial power and doesn’t require a pant-wetting elf to wander over and poke them with a stick.”

“I’ve found this,” cries Titchy, holding aloft a half-eaten Wensleydale buttie. “It may not be the Greatest Treasure the World has Never Seen, but it’ll do me.”

He wolfs it down in one. And what instantly happens?

Absolutely nothing.

“Bit of an anticlimax,” mimes Clerihew.

“You don’t need to mime any more, Clerihew. We know you’re not really a Trappist.”

“Sorry,” he mimes.

“Woof!” says Scruff.

“I know they’re only bones, Scruff. But they’re far too many bones, even for you. Besides which, every time you bring one down, it’ll just spring back to life.”

“There’s only one thing that can help us,” says Getrude. “The Snowlord. We must abase ourselves before his altar and hope he’s not either hibernating, inebriated or over-indulged on Easter eggs (especially as it’s nowhere near Easter yet).”

“I can hear them coming. We’ll have to fight our way through to get there.”

“Then fight we will,” cries Elfbow. “Ladies first!”

“Alternatively,” says Titchy, “we can fill our pockets with this gold stuff, and get the sorceress to help us to the Altar. Then, hopefully, we can lay all this treasure at his feet and it will be his disposition which alters.”

There’s a rattle of bones at the door. Sand begins to flow through the cracks.

***

One pile of treasure is Terrain Crate, the other Wizzkids.

The lizards are from the old GW Lizardmen army, and another of uncertain origin.

Scoring: I guess 1 point each for the treasure pieces, 5 each for the lizards, and 20 for the Snowlord’s Treasury.

Total: 32 points