The column had barely stopped when Corporal Millsy appeared , an eager look on his face and his trusty shovel in hand. "Sir" he said to Major Docherty , "shall I get started now?" It was a question the Surgeon Major was very familiar with in the long days since he had first rescued the man from the "Thugees of Indoostan".
Corporal Millsy had been part of a patrol which had been ambushed by the Thugees. Millsy was strangely the only survivor, and he had been led into captivity by being taken up the Kyhber Pass, more than once it was rumoured.
The brave Major was on a recce mission across the Hindu Kush, when the Raja of Bungditin released the dejected Millsy into his care. It seems the Thugees could no longer tolerate the whining and whimpering and wishing to curry favour - rather than just Curry Millsy - with the brave Major, the representative of the Great Queen Empress.
Ever since then Millsy had made himself the Major's personal manservant or batman. It was his duty to serve his officer. He often dreamt of being a proper officer - just like Major Docherty. The only thing that Corporal Millsy would never take orders on was to change his Scarlet tunic... "hey , hey calm down" he would mutter in his thick scouse accent. "I am not wearing blue!". It was a small price to pay in overlooking that foible as otherwise the man was devoted to his officer.
"Shall I start now sir? It won't take me long. I have plenty of practice as you know sir. I have been doing this so long now I have written a book sir. Even had it published when we were back in London when you were invited to tell of your adventures rescuing me to the Queen. It will make my fortune. Can I show you it? It has everything I have ever learnt about latrines, sir, pictures and everything. Sir please take a look here" he said imploringly as he handed his magnum opus over.
The Major took the tome in hand, it certainly was a thorough piece of work.
"Very good Corporal Millsy." But I think you may need to change the title...
"Sir! " "Very good sir!" .... A short while later, amidst the sounds of grunting and much whirling of the the shovel . "Finished Sir!"
The Major looked over to see the proud Corporal stood with a huge beaming smile on his face. Another latrine successfully constructed for his officer. Excellent thought the Major, now where is Private Clint with the paper?
As the Major set about his business...his thoughts drifted. He wondered if there would be any stocks of "5D" or "mind bleach" when they got to Khartoum. It was rumoured his doughty sister was there she would no doubt have some, unless some cheeky (paint) monkey had been interfering.
The gallant Surgeon-Major and shovel wielding Corporal Millsy will ride the four corners of the Empire once more in service of the Queen Empress
The two figures are both 28mm Sudan by Connoisseur Miniatures - the shovel wielding Millsy is a conversion with a suitably large shovel from the spares box soldered into hand - never to be parted.
Haha! Very good Dave. I have to say the part of the story which recounts poor Corporal Millsy 'being taken up the Khyber Pass, more than once it is rumoured' made me wince a bit. I have a sense that these entries will be a continuing conversation across the hemispheres.
10 points for the figures and 2 points for the story.
I very much look forward to the continuing saga of Major Dochery and Corporal Millsy. :)
Oooh! A double revenge on Millsy and Clint - two for the price of one!ReplyDelete
Lovely work Dave :)
Grand story and brushwork, Dave! I like this far more than handbags! ;)ReplyDelete
Another revenge post! Sanitation Engineer-poor Millsy, he gets all the shit jobs :0)ReplyDelete
So he tells me!Delete
Nicely done Dave!ReplyDelete
LOL, very droll mate. I suppose a response to such a carefully crafted effort is merited. :-)ReplyDelete
Digging latrines for Major D is a major effort I can tell you. As you can plainly see he's absolutely full of it and doesn't mind spreading it around! I wonder do Dave, was the irony of digging a hole for yourself with this post lost on you? Or perhaps you were too busy taking the p1ss to notice? Regardless, I have work to do. Pass the bleach please someone...
Cheers mate... Oh I am sure some will be flung back...!Delete
Thanks Dave. I am still laughing. It did put a grin on my face. The figures are nicely painted as well so a double bonus.ReplyDelete
Well done mate funny! But somehow I think this series of posts may continue. And as long as it remains light hearted I can only see it as a good thing. All ready looking for the next one now!
Oh indeed ... If ya give it , you got to take it...
Apart from the superb painting on the mini's the GIMP thingie had me ROFLMAO! Cheers Dave.ReplyDelete
My, what a big shovel! Nice work Dave.ReplyDelete
Cheers.. It's obviously needed for the Majors outputDelete
Great looking figures, now to keep my head below the parapet or risk being next lolReplyDelete
Hmmm Private Willey has a certain ring...Delete
Curt,.. Corporal Millsy says he escaped the Thugees clutches on the way up the pass and had to be dragged up a number of times.... What where you thinking........ ;-)ReplyDelete
Oh dear sweet fluffy Lord. Someone fetch my lawn chair and popcorn!ReplyDelete
The good-natured ribbing by certain Challengers is highly entertaining! Though it needs camels . . .
I did not have a big enough shovel in the spares box...!Delete
Haha, this one really made me laugh. Looking forward to the well earned replies. You should better not stick your head out too far in the near future. Nearly forgot: Well done on the painting front too!ReplyDelete
Indeed - i think the Major will need his tin hat!Delete
Great entry! Definitely the best backstory for an entry throughout the whole challenge :)ReplyDelete
have you seen any tiger around the camp during your work?ReplyDelete
GillesW " Monty Python's fan club"
Fine work, Dave! Hard to imagine a better back-story for a post, although I have a feeling Millsy will be conjuring up something along those lines right about now... ;)ReplyDelete
Sidney... i am pretty sure i can hear the shovel hard at work from the other side of the planet!Delete
Hilarious! Great work Dave. I think I need to work you guys into a submission somehow...ReplyDelete
Glad you enjoyed it!Delete
so good he said it twice!Delete
I missed this post, as I was out of town at the time - Mr D, you are an evil, evil man!ReplyDelete