Tuesday, 4 January 2022

Tamsin's Tawdry Tuesday

 

"Good morning Ladies, Gentlemen...and Ray. Thank you for choosing Snowlord's Peak Resort Station as the base for your exploration of Challenge XII Quadrant. We hope that your 3-month stay will be enjoyable and productive."

"For those of you who are new guests, my name is TamsinP and I am the Senior Steward and Morale Officer of this station. There are a number of other Stewards, some of them assigned to assist guests on particular days. There is also Miles, our resident Statistical Officer and Mathaumaturgician - if you hear any sounds of kittens or puppies in distress as you pass his Laboratory*, please pay no heed; we are informed that those noises are actually from the machines running his Spreadsheet of Doom (TM) and there are definitely no kittens or puppies inside."

"Additionally, Lady Sarah is operating a fast space-yacht service for our guests who wish to travel outside the space-lanes used by our standard exploration skiffs."

"We are of course all answerable to the stationmaster, Captain Campbell. He's the one wearing a Polish czapka which he thinks he looks rather good in (everyone else thinks he looks absolutely ridiculous). He did want all the crew to wear these uniforms this year:


"Fortunately, Lady Sarah and I prevailed after pointing out that seeing certain of our maintenance and janitorial personnel dressed in that fashion might deter guests and incur fines from the Interstellar Alliance Bureau of Public Taste and Decency."

"I am pleased to report that 54 of our expected 101 guests have arrived and begun their explorations of the Quadrant. Many have made use of the scheduled skiff services between planets and some have taken trips on Lady Sarah's Space Yacht. So far they have traveled a combined total of 7,661 parsecs; I believe that the overall pledged target for this "cruise" is 82,505 parsecs."

"For today's exploration reports, MartinC is sawing a head...sorry, "sauring" ahead with his study of reptilian life on Arda and ArthurS is doing something in the dynamics lab. I'm hoping that there will be more reports coming in later on, but those are the only two that I am aware of right now."

"Nurse Docherty will be handing out medications on Friday. We have a vast supply of coloured wax crayons (especially of the orange and purple ones so beloved of RayR and MartinC)."

Toodle-pip!

Tamsin


* the door sign reads:

Statistical & Mathaumaturgical Laboratory
*Restricted Access*
**Authorised Personnel Only**
***RayR Is Absolutely NOT Authorised***
****Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here****
*****Muwahahahaha!*****


34 comments:

  1. Hopefully there are more posts, or they afraid of incorrect postings?
    Btw, are there any Senior Steward miniatures available?

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    Replies
    1. I think they just simply be in awe of me. Why would they be afraid? ;)

      No minis that I know of for sure, but Hasslefree and Crooked Dice might be worth a look.

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    2. We should ask Annie @Bad Squido to make one.

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    3. Hasslefree has Felicity, but I'm not sure about the head: https://hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=felicity~hfn003&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-non%252dcoms-%2F-civilians
      They also have Gina, who looks too angry to be a Senior Steward: https://hfminis.co.uk/shop?product=gina~hfsf115&category=modern-%26%0D%0Apost%252dapoc~modern-non%252dcoms-%2F-civilians

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    4. Not sure about the head, I meant to say "hair" instead of "head".

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    5. Just looked at Hasslefree. Felicity might work, but in the SciFi Humans range they also have the "Retro SciFi Crew" - CommO Misha, Nurse Layla and Ensign Shay.

      And now I suspect that the placing of an order by me might be imminent...

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    6. Please, place an order. Ordering stuff from UK nowadays is too difficult with all the bureaucracy and taxes etc.

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    7. Captain Kev might be useful as well... Reminds my of someone, perhaps?

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  2. do love a good crayon, super tasty. The uniforms are a bit risque, where can I get one, large size. Asking for a friend

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    1. Just avoid the ones that have been stuck in people's noses and ears, unless you want added booger/wax flavouring!

      I'm guessing you mean the purple uniform - you'd have to ask Captain Campbell about where to source those! ;)

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  3. @Tamsin: you have outdone yourself yet again! I nearly wet myself just after reading this post.

    @ Martin: NO we're not going to dress Ray up like that!

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    Replies
    1. Definitely not! I'd never wear that shade of blue!

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    2. @ Sander - cheers! I hope you weren't wearing something which would show the "leak"! :)
      It's for Ray? But we have a nice "female" bear costume lined up for him! ;)

      @ Ray - I believe that Martin was asking about the purple uniform, the one that Lady S and I over-ruled! :)

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    3. @Tamsin: no I am not allowed to wear silly clothes, my wife has forbidden that after the banana suit debacle of 2016...

      @Ray: I have you covered Ray: quite literally!

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  4. Replies
    1. Thanks! I seem to be having a quiet day, especially after you had such a busy one! :)

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  5. Your posts are always so entertaining Tamsin!
    No figures from me this week, as I was fulfilling an obligation painting on canvas. No more distractions from here on out! (there is chocolate cake at stake after all!)

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad that you enjoy my minion posts. I've always tried to make them entertaining. :)

      Chocolate cake definitely trumps distractions! :)

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  6. Hello Minion Tamsin:
    Happy to be reporting to you. I had my first post queued up but there seems to be a problem with my permissions, as I can't seem to post here. I've asked Herr Von Snowmeister to resend the invitation, so hopefully I'll be on next week with something to show.
    Cheers, Mike P

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    Replies
    1. Ave, Padre! I'm very happy to have you on board the Tuesday crew. As things seem to be fairly quiet today, if you would like to email me the text and pics then I would be happy to do the posting for you until Curt gets your permissions sorted out. :)

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    2. Hello Mike, Herr von Snowmeister here. I've resent your invite so you should be good to go. Enjoy! :)

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  7. Thank you Tamsin! Looking at what we have in the hopper, I see you have a relatively light day of it this week. Perhaps a bit of the lash is in order? I know there are some aboard who'd quite enjoy that. :)

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    Replies
    1. Nothing like a good lashing to get the morale up!!
      Enjoyed the post TamsinP.

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    2. Nothing like a good lashing to get the morale up!!
      Enjoyed the post TamsinP.

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    3. @ Curt - sadly my lash is still missing, so I'll just have to hope that friendly encouragement will do the trick! :)

      @ Colonel HCZ - indeed, indeed, but my lash has gone missing! :)

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  8. Is taht Ray in the last photo?? X(

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  9. A lovely post that adds to the fun on here - many thanks Tasmin

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  10. Yay Team Tuesday!!
    I’m looking forward to seeing what goodies Team Tuesday has to show off.
    I’m landing on Solaris next week … and I’ve got some “colourful deception” planned …….

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    Replies
    1. Well, I shall look forward to next Tuesday's "inbox" of draft posts! :)

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  11. Welcome to day 1 cat herding. I am off to check the meds cupboard for Friday and make sure they are locked away before Millsy.

    Did I miss the memo on Purple atire.. as long as you only administer the lash , i will take the rum!

    have a grand day

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    Replies
    1. The cats must have been well-fed - they've been rather inactive today.

      The purple uniform was overruled, but if you want one for your personal collection I'm sure Curt can provide you with details of the supplier! ;)

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