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| A detachment of Space Marines for the "Legiones Imperialis" game from GW. Or maybe this is a "formation"? Whatever. |
Greetings once more fellow Challengers! For my second submission to AHPC XIV, I have this modest assortment of very, very small Space Marines and some of the slightly-less-small-but-still-small Dreadnoughts which support them in battle. These are all plastic figures from one of GW's newest games that comes with the absurd title "Legiones Imperialis", but which long-suffering fans of the company's maligned "specialist games" simply recognize by the name "Epic". They are painted (of course) in the colours of the XVI Legion Astartes, the Sons of Horus.
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| Space Marine Legion command stand. |
I am a HUGE fan of GW's "Epic" game, and of the setting in which the game takes place, the so-called "Horus Heresy". This game first appeared in the 90s as "Space Marine" and would appear and re-appear in different forms over the years in various names, including "Epic", "Epic: 40,000" and finally "Epic: Armageddon". It disappeared under GW's clown-addled leadership circa 2008 or somewhere in there with the other so-called "specialist games" of the day, but fans kept a candle burning - and kept playing - all through the subsequent years.
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| A couple of the dreadnoughts; you get two on each sprue of Space Marine infantry. |
And lo and behold, the game did arise and return! You would think a fan like me would be just thrilled, and this post would be brimming with enthusiasm...but...well, that is just not the vibe I have with this game.
Why is my vigour and passion for this game at such a low ebb at the very moment of its return to the commercial scene? Who knows? I can think of a few things contributing to my much-dimmed enthusiasm...let's review some of them...
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| A look at unit of tactical marines. Or maybe a formation of them. Or maybe a detachment. Or maybe a group. Bottom line - there are 20 little tactical marines there. |
Maybe it was the years and-years-long delay to essentially re-launch the game, wasting time to re-do rules when they already had them, and simply had to re-issue them, but instead sat there for years in the studio getting wanked around through GW's constipated product process...
Maybe it was the completely unnecessary "re-scale" of the figures, just to try and f*ck over the old time collectors?
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| Wee little heavy support marines. |
Maybe it was the extra months-long delay in the actual release of the game, caused by some unknown f*ckup within GW's painfully slow corporate processes.
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| Tactical support marines...they have plasma guns...or, at least, I know they do...not sure what they might look like to most normal people... |
Maybe it was GW's tone-deaf decision to continue with their drone-like promotional roll-out for the game even after this Air-Canada-sized additional delay was confirmed, when every single announcement was met with a chorus of "WHEN WILL YOU RELEASE IT?" and GW never saw fit to answer that basic question (although it still mustered the resources to generate a corporate graphic pouting about this feedback, which just says so much, but anyway).
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| The LI game had been meant for release in August, but was delayed at the last minute, and no date was given. This was GW's hilarious and tone-deaf response to the venting of fans being fed months of promotional photos for the models and rules, while having no actual date on when said models or rules would be released. When a corporation says "we hear you", they generally, absolutely, have not. The game finally did arrive in mid-December. |
Maybe it was the drip of tiresome online content from "influencers" who get these things sent to them in advance while the rest of us plebs must content with GW's Kafka-like online pre-ordering system. This systems exists on GW's POS "upgraded" online store, and it is truly a marvel that, in the age of online product ordering, GW found a way to spend money creating an online platform where one must be in an online queue in order to join another online queue!
Not only does this waste your time, but it ensures that most people will either not get access to the product, which sells out in minutes. Fans who miss out face the choice of a) having no product, or, b) trying to get it from a FLGS, and hope said FLGS itself was not itself f*cked over by GW shorting its orders, or, c) dealing with douchebag scalpers online, or, d) waiting for GW to replenish its stock. Note, this stock, if and when it appears will again sell out in minutes while you struggle to log in to the "new" POS web store, because somehow a company that must sell stuff to make a living is yet utterly unable to reliably stock and supply the stuff it wants to sell?
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| Step 1: join the queue to...be in another queue. |
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| Step 2: after the first queue, wait in the second queue, while the product sells out online without you. |
Maybe it was the fact that, having navigated the above, the new updated rules, once they arrive, are a total B-team effort in terms of presentation, combining tiny fonts and wasting vast amounts of page space?
Maybe it was the fact that, once you hurt your eyes and start reading, you find rules which probably contain a good game, but read as though they were written by an AI chat bot trained on a blend of EU climate treaties and a cut-and-paste of the "Patrol Phase" from Chain of Command? Why are the concepts of "formation" and "detachment" mixed up? Why do they call turns "rounds" when they should be called "turns"? Why do they try to make "overwatch" a verb? It's not a verb. Nobody, anywhere, "overwatches". Seriously what f*cking Sports Illustrated chat bot wrote this book?
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| A look at a single stand of assault marines. |
Maybe it was the fact that the c*nts, having taken years to develop the game, did not include rules or stats for Land Raiders or Whirlwinds or so many of the other basic main vehicles in the core rules?
Maybe it was the fact that the new infantry models, while being "larger", somehow still contain both seriously unfortunate "cuts" that leave weird look on the tactical marines when seen from certain angles, but are ALSO often multi-part? I mean - take one approach, or the other...but both?
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| Multi-part epic scale Space Marines. "I have always wanted multi-part figures this small" said nobody, ever, anywhere. |
Maybe it was that one thing that wargamers loathe the most, even more than changing the scale of the figures...it was THE BASES. GW has attempted, with this new game, to change not only the basing size and shape (to round 25mm for basic stuff), but also saw fit to include only bases with "scenic" pavement/urban elements sculpted right into them, and...I despise them. I enjoy a game set in an urban-type terrain, but while a miniature with relatively generic "outdoor" terrain looks fine in an "urban" wargame setting, a figure with specific urban terrain built on to its base looks ridiculous on any other kind of terrain...
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| More dreadnoughts. You can see here an example of the Imperial symbol from the "pavement"...I let that peak through, but otherwise try to cover up the pavement. |
...and let's continue the rant here. The pavements on the bases are not even broken up or anything. They are just random flagstone pavements so...like, the lines, which are visible, don't even necessarily match whatever given piece of "urban" terrain the model/figure might be placed on, causing immediate dissonance...
...let me just cover one more time how much I hate the bases....yeah...it must be the bases. F*ck these new, thin, stupid bases.
I did make an honest attempt to at least try to use them, but that lasted less than 24 hours before I was applying basing material to cover the stupid pavements, leaving the odd imperial symbol peaking out.
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| A look at the Terminators |
Is it all bad? Well, no, of course not. The game is back. It took forever, but it IS back. I think the rules will be good once I get them translated into English. The new models are fiddly, but they have many, many nice features (if you can find them for sale anywhere), and while I may not be a huge fan of multi-part 6mm infantry, once cannot argue with the detail it does allow for, assuming your temper can survive assembling them. Warning - do NOT build these anywhere near a floor with a carpet...
I think there is some great stuff here, but I totally get why people are turning en-masse to 3D printing options, as GW can't even get its sh*t together to sell you the stuff if you even want to buy it. I WANT to be a fan of this game, I don't understand why GW insists on treating customers in this manner when it simply doesn't have to...how does this company, which is publicly traded, not have an activist investor not lining up to beat this management group into small pieces?
Anyway, I'm hoping Byron might print some Land Raiders for me, as I would prefer to paint them now as opposed to waiting for six months for them to be "released"...
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| Group photo, one more time! |
So, after this tiresome and impotent rant, we have 55 individual 6mm figures (please don't call them 8mm - that is just not a thing) and four different dreadnoughts. I don't know what Dreadnoughts in this size count for points-wise, but I shall accept whatever the minion determines! Thanks for enduring my blather, please keep those brushes going!
