To cheer you up on this dismal Friday (or it may be Saturday
where you are, which is never dismal, of course), here’s a joke from my
schooldays (yes, I did go to school. Sometimes two or three times a week).
(1)
What’s the difference between an elephant and a strawberry?
I don’t know. What is the difference between an elephant and
a strawberry?
Elephants are grey and
strawberries are red.
(2)
What did Scipio say when he saw the elephants coming over
the hill?
I don’t know.
“Here come the elephants over the hill.”
(3)
What did Hannibal say when he saw the elephants coming over the
hill?
Er – “here come the elephants over the hill”?
No. “Here come the strawberries over the hill”.
He was colour blind.
---
As we spit sand from our mouths, and drag marram grass from
various intimate declivities of our persons, Lady Sarah busies herself rounding
up errant geese before the red-garbed soldiers wandering here experiment with goose a l’orange. They seem to be searching the dunes for
something. Goose feathers are everywhere.
A bearded soldier approaches me, a puzzled look on his face.
“You’ve not seen my strawberry wandering around here, have
you?” he asks.
“Strawberry?”
“Grey* thing. Tail at each end. Ears the size of a carpark. Likes
peanuts.”
“I’ve just fallen out of a balloon. I’ve just had an
argument with a goose. I’ve just flown a million kilometres in precisely the
opposite direction to the one I want to go. I’ve neither time nor inclination to
identify wandering fruit.”
“Goosefeathers! The sky! Of course. I’m such a dumbo.”
“ I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“It’s well known that feathers are magical, isn’t it?”
I give him the look I've recently learned from Lady Sarah.
“Oh, yes, I’m sure that’s what some people believe.”
“If my strawberry has got hold of one of those feathers, he
could’ve flown away. He could be anywhere.“
“Well, I think I’ve seen about everything if I’ve seen a strawberry
fly.” This is getting me nowhere. “I tell you what – why don’t you have a quiet
word with that nice lady over there. Maybe in her balloon she’ll help you pursue
your missing – er – strawberry.”
“Excellent idea!” He waves his arms excitedly. “Men! Assemble
in the basket over there. The beast has flown. We’ll follow in the balloon, catch him and soon we’ll
have a basket full of strawberry. Remind me to send you a punnet of elephants
when I get home.”
“Yes, of course. But I move around a lot. A great deal,
actually. I'm all over the place, in fact. Maybe you should just send me the address of your sanitorium and I’ll
be sure to forget all about it.”
[*Or, for our US audience, “Gray”.]
---
So my "something red" vignette is Hannibal, to lead my developing Carthaginian army.
I began
this army during the Challenge IX, but have not painted a single figure for it
since! So I’m hoping that I might finish a few more this time round, perhaps
enough to give me a decent fighting force.
The Hannibal figure was the freebie show figure at Salute
many years ago. His standard is a Victrix spare, carried by a figure of yet
another unknown manufacturer. Supporting him are 11 more of these figures, who’ll
be Hannibal’s Companions, his Guard.
I’m not sure whether to leave the shields
plain red – I think it will make the unit quite distinctive in the Punic army,
but my Roman troopers currently have red shields, too, so this may lead to some
confusion on the battlefield. However, I hope to finish a few more figures for
both sides before the Challenge is over, so this may change matters overall.
***
Well, these figures may have had to wait a while to get painted, but the wait was worth it. Cracking job on these Noel. As for the shields being red, that is entirely your call, but I would maybe try to find something to make them completely separate from your Roman force. Adding a design may or may not do that though, it may make them blend even more, so up to you. They look great as is though.
-ByronM
Another great entry and another bonkers tale Noel :)
ReplyDeletelovely work on these Noel, What's the best way to eat an elephant? With cream while watching Wimbledon
ReplyDeleteSuper looking Carthaginians and entertaining (if mad) story!
ReplyDeleteBest Iain
I'll let you into a little secret: the very first Wargames army I actually finished was Hannibal's army! So this is a very suitable entry for the Dunes Noel! Lovely stuff as ever!
ReplyDeleteGreat painting; terrible jokes.
ReplyDelete