"Good morning gentlemen (and Ray). Senior Flight Attendant Tamsin here. I do hope that you are enjoying your flight with Snowlord Airways. Flight AHPC-X out of Challenge, Blogland is currently cruising at 13,476* points towards our target altitude of 64,358 points. 56 of our 68 passengers are now aboard; the other 12 had better pull their socks up and join the flight before we climb too far."
"There were some slight disturbances yesterday. Rookie Attendant Martin had to leave his shift early on (something about "I can't connect with this thing") - hopefully "Nurse" Docherty's extra doses of medication have made up for those of you who didn't receive rocks to bang together. We also almost had a mutiny when the Captain set a passenger a task which he was unwilling and unable to perform. Thankfully, I was around and made an eminently sensible suggestion which does appear to have calmed things down. Well, that's what I'm paid** for."
"Today's in-flight entertainment may look a little sparse right now, but I'm sure that more performers will come forward later on. So far we have Dave D sowing off his new blueberries (well, that's what it sounded like - he was scoffing a big pie while he was telling me); Nick is dragging coal to the Millpond; Mike F is trying to Deff-en us; and Barks is going to share around his bottle of "grey gunners" (I do hope that's like Grey Goose")."
* I know that the table is showing a higher figure - it's been updated with today's first five entries (and the one which Curt posted overnight but didn't enter into the spreadsheet until just now!)
** "Paid" Ha-ha! As if!
Morning Tamsin. I'm back in the 21st Century. I now have the interweb, 30min upgrade took 17 hours. A whole evening without the internet is both liberating and annoying. Did a lot of painting - which was nice.
ReplyDeleteI think you only really had to switch it off and back on again!
DeleteHave you tried shutting Martin off and turning hi m back on?
DeleteMy highly paid IT consultant said that. I drank his blood from my boot
Delete21st Century - are you living in a different UK to the rest of us? Or is that just the way it seems? ;)
DeleteHave a fun Friday!
ReplyDeleteBest Iain
have fun - I agree senior management are always a pain!
ReplyDeleteHave fun Tamsin.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff Tamsin, enjoy your shift. There's should be one from me in the hopper.
ReplyDeleteRemember, 'overnight' to you and 'now' to me are the same thing. Oooh, that sounds so wonderfully mysterious! :)
@ Iain - cheers! :)
ReplyDelete@ Dave D - thanks! They often are! ;)
@ Peter D - cheers! :)
@ Curt - seen, minioned and posted. The "overnight" post was the one from Stephen S :)