From GregB: Axehole: The Sequel (15 points)

"Saturnine Praetor" for the XV Legion Astartes. Multi-part plastic kit from GW. 

In strict technical marketing terms, this is a "Saturnine Praetor" kit for Games Workshop's "Age of Darkness" setting (a.k.a the Horus Heresy). He is wearing the colours and symbols of the XV Legion Astartes, the Thousand Sons.This is a multi-part (like, a LOT of parts) plastic kit from GW. But never mind what it said on the box. Let's call this figure for what it is: "Axehole: The Sequel". 

NOTE: You may be asking: "Wait a minute - a sequel? Who/what was the first one?" See the original "Axehole" at this link. 

"And I took that personally" - a lot going here. I was disappointed that the decals did not show well on the scroll of the chest plate...I might go back and work on that.

In the "Age of Darkness", the Space Marine Legions ape the terminology of ancient Rome's military structure. Thus the Praetor is a senior command figure for your Space Marine Legion force. Nicer armour, fancier kit, more capabilities etc. all designed to have him stand out from his fellows. Like the original Axehole, this figure was included as part of a core Horus Heresy box set, in this case the 3.0 edition (which dropped last year). 

You will surely have observed the powered armour this fellow is wearing is rather bonkers, even by the already rather bonkers standards of GW. This is the "Saturnine" armour, and it was the "big new thing" clumsily and careless retconned into the setting and included with the 3.0 edition of the rules. Now you don't even have to be a fan of the setting to see this and think "wait, WTF? Saturnine what?"

Example of an original "Saturnine" EXO ARMOUR figure from the Rogue Trader era. Metal figure on a 25mm round base.

It is always funny to contrast how lackadaisical the GW studio types are in their treatment of their own established lore and stories for their various settings - even as its corporate office simultaneously unleashes lawyers on any outside party who tries to do anything with it. "Saturnine" armour wasn't pulled out of thin air. In fact, it has roots in very early 40k sculpts, the very first of what would come to be known as the the original metal terminators.  

So, in way, what you see in this submission. is the GW studio is going "Hey, cool more nostalgia! Just like the plastic 'beakie' Marines from version 2.0!" But the similarities end right there. First of all, hobbyists clamoured for years for a return of the "beakie" armour, but nobody ever gave a sh*t about the old Saturnine designs -mostly because they sucked hard.  I will readily acknowledge that a few 3rd party sculptors were out there with some interesting, Saturnine-style sculpts, but on the whole this kind of armour was a fringe interest.

A look at his whacky cape!

I think what was more jarring was that the Black Library has something like ten years (or more) of Horus Heresy novels where "Saturnine Armour" did not ever come up, at least to my knowledge - through like 40 or 50 novels and novellas etc. This includes the Siege of Terra novel actually titled "Saturnine"  in which the most elite forces of the Warmaster confront the most elite forces of the Loyalist defence, in the "Saturnine District" of the Imperial palace, and nobody on either side is using this amazing, elite, super powerful armour...it is never mentioned. 

Anyway, whatever..."Saturnine Armour" is "back". Retcon clownf*ckery to the side, one thing that I feel unites the core of 30k fans around the world is a shared fear of the game becoming "like 40k" (i.e. unplayable trash). If GW's studio wants to ignore the Black Library, that's one thing, but when they act to wreck what made 30k so fun and special, that is of much greater concern. 

A tool fit for an Axehole!

"Saturnine" units are popping up on Horus Heresy gaming tables, and while they are technically 30k models, they have 40k "vibes". The blind indifference to the established story (note: "well they have always changed the story" does not equate to "every change they make is great - or even good"). The scale creep (that fellow is on a 50mm base). The over-the-top weapons (I'm SURE that axe isn't compensating for any emotional problems, right?). The terrain built into the base (FFS, STOP DOING THIS - IT MAKES EVERYONE'S MODELS LOOK THE SAME). I enjoy goofy models and silly guns, but like all recipes, a balance of ingredients is important - even too much good stuff can throw things off. This one...I'm not sure...

The worst part is the comically over-powered rules for these new models on the tabletop - the rules are "broken" right out of the gate, and the new "Saturnine Terminator" units slaughter everything on the table. 

And just wait until you see the "Saturnine" dreadnought...

"Where is my latte???"

Look, it's not all bad. I'm just one ranting nut. There is a counterpoint here: many, many 30k players seem excited about these new models - whatever I think (not sure "excitement" is a word I would use for the new rules, but that is for another time). I did get a starter box of the 3.0 edition, so I have some of these "Saturnine" models, and after ignoring them for months, I figured the Painting Challenge might be a way to get them under the brush. I am in the process of continuing to expand my Thousand Sons Legion forces, and I thought I might as well designate this chap to join them! Why not let this Legion have a taste of the insane power of these new models, if only just for fun. 

These "Saturnine" models are not easy to assemble...they are designed to be flexible in their posing, and yet they are SO large that the real scope of their poses is extremely limited. Like any model type, the more you work on them, the easier they get, but these Praetor ones in particular are a bit tricky, and probably best painted in sub-assemblies - although I rushed on this one and only painted his cape seperately.

Size comparison - on the left that is a Sekhmet Cabal Terminator, previously the "big guys" of the collection...well, there is a new boss.

For scoring, this is a bit of a conundrum. This is, technically, a single 28mm figure. At the same time, it's comically large for that setting - as you can see, much larger than even the big Terminator-armoured figures for the same setting. It is almost as large as a Dreadnought (which have been scored at 20 points, as 28mm vehicles), but still a little smaller. So I am proposing we might score it with this in mind - 15 points. But at the end of the day, this will be up to the judgement of my exalted Minion, Sylvain, and I will humbly await his ruling.

Sweet, sweet SKULLZ. Guaranteed to make your axe even axe-ier.

This guy does have SKULLZ! So we do get some sweet, sweet SKULL goodness here. He has eight skullz! EIGHT! I'm on the SKULL board at last!

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Sylvain: Greg, your painting talents are as good as your ranting skills. It's always a pleasure to read your posts and to feast my eyes on the latest additions to your ever growing collection. Keep on sharing your passion, your pictures and your stories. Bravo!